Tuesday Tell All - Livin' on the Edge

Okay, if you know me well, you know I'm about the least thrill seeking person you could meet. What you might be surprised to know is that that was not always the case. I used to love the adrenalin rush of doing something dangerous. I can pinpoint the exact moment that all changed.

I was 17 and out cliff diving with my friends. We were going of this HUGE cliff. We basically had to scale the side of the cliff to get up to the spot. I can't emphasize enough how dangerous this really was. If I slipped, or lost my grip I would have fallen to the rocks below and probably to my death. I remember my boyfriend at the time trying to talk me out of it. He thought it was crazy and didn't want me to do it, but I wouldn't be stopped, so he came along with me. I'm not sure if he came because he was concerned for my safety, or if he just didn't want to be shown up by a girl. Anyway, we made it to the top safely. Then it was time to jump. This ledge (that's all it was was a small ledge jutting out from the cliff) was about 75 ft. above the water. looking down you could see rocks surrounding the area. There was one spot that you had to hit the water to be safe. I jumped, hit the water, and couldn't feel anything. I couldn't move. I tried to swim to the surface, but nothing would move. I wasn't even sure which way the surface was. I honestly thought I was about to die. I remember thinking, "I'm dying." Then my face broke the surface of the water. My next thought was, "Thank you, I'm alive," then "I'm paralyzed." My boyfriend and our other friend that had made the climb with us knew something was wrong and jumped in. They pulled me to the edge of the water. After a few minutes my feeling started returning. Apparently, when I entered the water my feet had come up just a bit, so I basically sat on the water. I guess the shock to my spine is what made me loose all feeling. I made a full recovery, but for a few weeks I had blood blisters the size of saucers on my upper thighs and butt. I literally couldn't sit down for the longest time.

So there it is, the moment I went from dare devil to scared of anything that could be remotely dangerous. I am absolutely terrified of heights. But, if I knew that there was NO risk, that I would be 100% safe at the end, the one thing that I always thought would be fun and never did before I turned into a complete wuss is rock climbing. Not some little wall or little rock climbing excursion, but full out extreme rock climbing. What a rush that would be, but I'm sure I will not ever be doing it. It's funny that I see these dangerous things and look at them longingly, but I am just too completely scared out of my mind to even try. Maybe someday I'll get past it, but I'm not holding my breath.